Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you never un-have a 4some
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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