She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
