How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
