Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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