That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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