just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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