dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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