I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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