I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
