We got so high we made milksteak
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
