Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
