This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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