two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
