Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
