It's Friday. Sex?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
