No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
