okay pat passed out under dana's car
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
