I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize