so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
