I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
id be glad to
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
