remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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