i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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