is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
