is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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