I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
