Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
