Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize