im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
