so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
