I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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