I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
