Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
