Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
