I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
