I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
