these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
