I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize