No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
