Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
