She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
