I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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