im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
