yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
