if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
