also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
