I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
