I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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