I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize