he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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