Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
