if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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