explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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