I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
