Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
