so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
