he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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