No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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