Plan B is the new Plan A
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
