Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
