Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
