May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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