i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
