im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
