my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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